The Surprise
by Padbie
Summary: Three years after the defeat of the Reapers and it's business as usual aboard the SR2 until there's a hitch in plans.
1. Chapter 1

**The Surprise**

By Badpie

Three years. As Shepard lay on his back under the cool sheets in his cabin, it occurred to him. It hadn't seemed that long at all since the Reapers had been defeated, since the galaxy had rejoiced at the defeat of the monsters that would have destroyed all life. Somehow, through some miracle, life in this galaxy had been able to beat back and extinguish its one major threat.

In the three years since, Shepard had been "on special assignment" with the Alliance and was working now mainly for the Council as a Spectre. Just like old times. He hadn't officially left the Alliance. He wasn't sure he could ever really do that on paper. But he had been and was, essentially a gun for hire, righting wrongs and fixing the things that were still broken in the Traverse.

The SR2, the ship which had performed so dutifully for him and his crew, "gifted" to him by the Illusive man less than five years ago was still operating perfectly and the crew aboard had become like a big family. He smiled at the thought, as he stared through the skylight to the stars above.

"What are you grinning at?" Ashley's voice said as she climbed onto the bed next to him and snuggled up close. She was already showered, dressed and ready for the day, her hair back in her usual sleek bun, her Alliance blue fatigues traded for civilian styled ones. She kissed his stubbled and scarred cheek and he wrapped one strong arm around her. She looked at him, her full lips curling into a tiny smile.

"I was just thinking," Shepard replied, resuming his gaze at the stars.

"Thinking?" Ash asked. "About what?"

He looked at her warmly, meeting her deep brown eyes. Ashley Williams. He could still remember the exact details of their first conversation after they'd picked her up on Eden Prime roughly seven years ago. And he remembered months later, the moment he realized he had fallen in love with her. Through the rough patches, the lost time, the two years he'd been gone and dead before Cerberus brought him back, he had never gone a day not thinking of her. She had also requested special assignment to work with him these past three years, leaving her normal Alliance existence. It had been a big decision for her and it had meant a lot to him.

"I was just thinking about everything we've accomplished. What we've done, what we're doing. Sometimes I look back and I think…sometimes I wonder how we did it. And I think about what would have happened if we hadn't won." He touched her face with a casual familiarity, born of their long and intimate relationship. "I think about you…finding you again, that two years, the Collectors. Eventually I just kind of…think about everything." The corner of his mouth turned up with the slightest grin as he stared at the passing stars again.

"Hm," Ash nodded, thoughtful and paused for a long time. "That's a lot to think about before breakfast," she finally quipped and smiled. Ash had a way of keeping Shepard grounded, a skill she'd always had, since they'd first met. In the years since that skill had become invaluable. She was his touchstone, his beacon, his constant. His actions and decisions, rarely challenged by most of those around him, were tempered with her common sense more often than not. He shuddered to think of some of the things he'd have wrought without her. They'd lost each other once and he'd been lost without her. He was pulled from his thoughts by her voice again. "Come on," She sat up. "You're late." She tried to pull the sheets down away from his shirtless, boxer covered form.

"Hey!" He barked, reflexively reaching for the fabric as a short tug of war ensued. "Knock it off, Chief!" He still called her that sometimes even though it hadn't been her rank in a long time. She was 1st Lieutenant now with the Alliance, but "Chief" had become something of a pet name. She was chuckling now and he grabbed her, quickly turning her over onto her back so that he hovered above her. She squealed a little, her musical laugh then permeating the cabin that had once upon a time been so cold and devoid of life. His face lingered close to hers as they laughed softly. He kissed her lips firmly and pulled back after a second, the sensation creating a wave of warmth through his body. It was unexpected, but not unsurprising. He kissed her again, this time more softly and with more than just the intention of being sweet. She kissed back, bringing her hand to the back of his head and stroking softly. Their lips parted and Shepard's voice grew quiet and husky. "I'm not…_that_ late," he said and kissed her throat, prompting her head to fall back onto the bed.

After a few seconds of letting him enjoy the taste and smell of her skin, Ash finally pushed him gently off of her. "No, you _are_ that late. It's 0825."

He kissed her again, his words muffled by her mouth. "Mm. They can wait."

She was laughing now and gently trying to push him away between her obvious enjoyment of his kisses. "Stop it! Mmm. I'm serious! Get your butt out of bed!" Her voice was full of barely restrained giggles as he made one last attempt to sway her by kissing her neck.

Finally he pulled back, a smile on his face, only mildly disappointed. "Fine," he said dryly. "You're right." She raised an eyebrow in a smart ass fashion and then wiggled out from under him and stood up, walking to the door of the cabin. "I won't forget this!" he called after her.

She turned and winked. "Hope not. Tick tock, marine. I'll see you down there."

"Yes ma'am" he said under his breath as she smiled and walked out of the room. He yawned, looked at the clock and it suddenly hit him how late he was. "Damn," he cursed. He got up, walked to the bathroom barefoot and turned on the shower.

* * *

When Shepard made it to the comm room his team was already assembled, talking amongst themselves. They had all become close, closer than he would have imagined some of them would. As he glanced around he found himself being grateful for all of them.

Jacob Taylor, who had fought by his side years ago when they defeated the Collectors. He had become one of Shepard's best friends. After losing his job with Cerberus, an unfortunate side effect of Shepard telling The Illusive Man where he could shove his mission, Jacob had had no real option but to stay with Shepard. He supposed that wasn't true. Jacob was a talented soldier and very intelligent. And he had good connections. The truth, Shepard knew is that he'd stayed because he liked and respected Shepard. The feeling was mutual.

Thane, who would have been dead from his life threatening disease if Mordin Solus hadn't found a cure, stood talking to Ash. The two of them had become friends, perhaps because they shared a common interest when it came to religion and spirituality. Shepard knew they'd had many discussions on the subject. And Thane seemed somewhat protective of Ash and she was one of the few people that could make him laugh. The redemptive assassin had proven invaluable on more than a few occasions and Shepard was lucky to have him.

Garrus, Shepard's long time friend. They'd been through hell together and Garrus had assured Shepard he wasn't going anywhere. Shepard would have missed him if he'd decided not to continue on with him. He'd lightened up over the years considerably, something Shepard hadn't thought possible for a Turian.

The biggest surprise of the group was Jack. Shepard had been sure she'd have been the first to go after they defeated the Collectors. But she wasn't. She hadn't had anywhere to go and not surprisingly her heroic efforts had made her feel valuable to the galaxy in general. It had taken her a long time to open up at all to Shepard, and she was still very stand offish, still had a rage that was difficult to quell. But she was here, and part of his team.

Several newer faces had been brought aboard in the last few years. There was Cara; a former arms dealer with some shady connections Shepard had been able to make use of. There was Daniel, a tech specialist that had come aboard when Tali had returned to the Migrant Fleet. Miani, a young asari who had a way with words and an even better way with an assault rifle.

There were, of course a couple other familiar faces. Dr. Chakwas and Joker had been happy to continue working with Shepard. This was the way it was supposed to be, he thought.

"All right people listen up" Shepard said as he entered the comm room. Everyone turned to him, quieting their chit chat. With an electronic chirp, a dossier image of a frowning man appeared in the hologram above the table. "Tarin Olosovic. Former Terra Firma party figurehead had a conflict of ideas with the leaders and broke off to form his own splinter group Humanity First."

"I read about that guy," Cara said. "Thought Terra Firma was too 'soft' on the alien presence in the galaxy. Wanted a militant human uprising to take place."

"You gotta love that there are some people too idiotic even for Terra Firma to accept them," Ash quipped.

"Yeah well," Shepard continued. "He may be an idiot but he's a heavily armed idiot. And he and his group have taken it upon themselves to hijack a Salarian diplomat vessel in the Argos Rho system." With another chirp the image of a ship came into view. "The Darkani, passenger ship carrying four Salarian diplomats and their families. Has a total of twelve passengers, eight adults, and four minors. Olosovic thought that by taking the ship he'd gain attention for Humanity First and possibly some new recruits."

"He would attack defenseless women and children," Thane stated. "How would he expect to gain any favor this way?"

Shepard sighed. "One of the diplomats on board is the Salarian councilor's cousin."

"I wondered why this was such high priority," Ash said. She still wasn't a fan of the Council. Truth be told, neither was Shepard. The political bull shit they'd had to endure over the years had made things difficult for them. The Council had been uncooperative for the most part on many things, including the Reaper threat. And had it not been for their extreme importance in the grand scheme of things, Shepard might have told them to go to hell. But they were a resource. And they seemed to listen to him on occasion, which made him feel like he was accomplishing something.

"Bingo. He's already made demands of the Council asking they step down as ranking authority in the galaxy."

"Oh so…realistic goals…" Cara said sarcastically, twirling a strand of her long red hair lazily.

Shepard smirked. "We did mention they were idiots, four of them total. Of course that presents more of a problem than a solution. They're jumpy. There are reports of shots fired, but they claim there've been no injuries. Olosovic is twitchy, paranoid and he'll be looking for a fight when we head in there."

"And just how do we get in there?" Jacob asked.

Shepard smiled just a little. "The Council said they'd be sending a liaison to facilitate the acquiescence to their demands."

There was a short silence, and then Ash smiled. "And you're the liaison? My god they really are dense aren't they?"

"That would seem to be a common theme with them yes," Shepard responded. "In any case I'd rather handle this peacefully with civilians at risk. We can't just go in blasting."

"Planning to use your winning charm on them, Shepard?" Thane asked. Shepard wasn't sure if he was being sarcastic or not. It was hard to tell with him.

Shepard sighed. "Right. My charm. We'll see." He said dryly. "We should be there in about forty minutes. Ash, Thane I want you two with me." They nodded their understanding. "Okay, let's get ready. Dismissed everyone."

Shepard walked out of the room first, followed closely by Ash.

"We have time for some breakfast?" She asked. "I'm starving." They made their way through the armory, a place in which Ash and Jacob had spent a lot of time together, mostly arguing about which mod is best for which model weapon and generally getting into good natured pissing contests about who was better with weapon maintenance. Shepard enjoyed their almost sibling-like rivalry.

"You're always starving," Shepard nodded to Rick, their resident planet scanning technician as he passed and saluted.

Ash laughed. "I'm not always…okay I have an appetite. So sue me." The bright lights of the command center came into focus as the crew went about bustling over their stations. A few of the old Cerberus crew was still here, many because of their devotion to Shepard after saving their lives from the Collectors, but there were some Alliance faces too, gifted specialists and techs who had been very excited to work on the amazing frigate.

Shepard had to chuckle. "Yeah let's head to the mess. You had your coffee yet?"

Ash scrunched her nose a little. "Nah. I don't feel like coffee today."

"What?" Shepard raised an eyebrow. "Who are you and what have you done with my lieutenant?"

Ash laughed. "Hey if you want me all jittery with my finger on a trigger that's no problem, but I think I'll skip the caffeine today. Could go for some juice though. Man, orange juice sounds so good right now."

"That does sound good." Shepard said. "Hopefully there's some left. We need to make a supply run."

They headed to the mess, Shepard still slightly amused at Ash's insistence that she didn't want coffee. In all the years he'd known her he had never even heard of a day when she hadn't had it. It was an addiction for her almost, one he didn't share since he didn't drink coffee at all, but it was endearing. She often played up her non-alert state in the mornings for dramatic effect, and it always made Shepard grin. Ash had a little bit of a silly side that showed itself on occasion, only with him. He couldn't help but smile affectionately at her as they entered the elevator.


	2. Chapter 2

An hour later, Shepard, Thane and Ash stood at the airlock to the commandeered vessel. Ash wasn't worried. This could go badly if handled wrong, but generally speaking Shepard didn't handle these things wrong. She had always been amazed at his ability to speak to people. And when speaking failed, his threats usually worked just as well.

Ash had always been too blunt and brash to handle negotiations. She shuddered to think what would happen if she'd been in charge of it. It would probably end in a fire fight. Most work she was involved in usually did. She just didn't have the charisma that Shepard did. She smiled inwardly at the thought. Shepard would never think he was anything more than a grunt that did his job well, but Ash knew that wasn't true. Hell, Ash and the rest of the galaxy knew that wasn't true.

The door to the ship opened and a nervous young man stood, sweaty, holding a gun aimed at the three of them. Their weapons were holstered. With civilians in the line of fire, looking hostile was the last thing they wanted. Shepard raised his hands for just a second to show the man they would comply. The man, or more accurately the kid seemed to relax a little. He looked no more than nineteen or twenty. She glanced at his finger on the trigger of the weapon. Properly trained individuals were taught to keep their finger just north of the trigger. It prevented…surprises. Shaky trigger fingers made Ash nervous. She's rather be held at gun point by a sadistic killer who knew what he was doing than a nervous kid who could twitch or get spooked by a loud noise and blow her head off accidentally.

"Tarin wants to see you," the kid said motioning with his assault rifle for them to move. Shepard nodded at him and they made their way down the hallway of the ship.

The ship was opulent. Expensive Salarian décor that looked garish in Ash's opinion peppered the inside of the communal areas. It was spacious, with lots of what Ash was sure was expensive Salarian art pieces scattered throughout in pristine glass display cases. Sterile. Very typically Salarian. She took note of places that would make good cover should the worst happen.

Entering into the main sitting area, Ash could see the Salarians, gathered on a couple of the sofas, the small ones clinging to their parents. She had always found Salarians to be somewhat comedic looking, but also cute. She knew that was probably offensive, but she couldn't help it. Their large eyes and thin bodies made them look vulnerable, especially the children. She had of course known many Salarians who were not vulnerable in the least, but their look was such. Their large eyes all looked at the three of them, pleading with them for rescue.

"You must be Shepard," Tarin said. He was a gruff man. His eyes held a certain kind of crazy that Ash had seen before in religious zealots and xenophobic activists. He stood before Shepard, arms crossed. "So the Council has decided to listen have they?"

Shepard shook his head. "They're willing to listen to a point, but not while you're holding hostages. You let these people go and you and I can talk."

Tarin chuckled. "Right to it, eh Shepard. I like you. You don't blow smoke up a person's ass." He stood and thought for a moment. "How do I know you and your pretty friend and your pet alien here won't start shooting once we let them go?"

Ash glanced around the room. Tarin's last words had gotten his men to tense a little and now a couple were staring suspiciously at she and Thane. She looked to the Salarians on the couch, still frightened, huddled together. The man on the end caught her eye. He was sweaty. She didn't even know Salarians could sweat, but this guy looked antsy, extra nervous. She didn't like the look of him. Her gut turned as she realized that his was the face of someone who was about to do something incredibly stupid.

Before she could finish her thought, the Salarian stood quickly and reached for his back. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Tarin and his men turn their attention to him quickly. The Salarian pulled out a tiny pistol, one they had apparently missed and began to aim it at Tarin. Ash saw what was about to happen in her mind.

"No!" Ash said loudly as the idiotic Salarian brought the pistol up. She couldn't believe how stupid he was. Shepard had gotten this conversation in the bag almost and then this stupid ass panicked. Time was moving in slow motion for Ash as she lunged for the Salarian to disarm him, though she had no idea what was going on behind her now. She was hoping that her clear effort to stop him would keep everyone else from freaking out, but she soon learned that was not the case. She grabbed the Salarian just as she saw a flash and heard a loud bang of a shotgun. With her grip on the Salarian, the blast knocked them both backward hard towards the wall.

She felt the back of her head crack against the corner of something behind her and then her vision and hearing were a blur. She couldn't move and she felt a flush of warmth at the base of her skull that she was sure was a gush of blood. All she could do was stay down as she heard screams and one more shot, which sounded like it was from Thane's pistol. She saw the flash and heard Shepard's voice commanding everyone to stand down. His familiar tone came into focus for her as her vision cleared. She looked at the Salarian next to her. He wasn't dead surprisingly, but the wound in his torso was severe. She hadn't gotten to him in time. She looked up to the blurry figures standing around. They slowly came into focus and she felt herself struggling to stand.

"Williams?" Shepard called out, not taking his attention off of the others, who had put down their weapons and were standing calmly, save for the man Thane had shot in the leg, who was groaning and rolling around. Ash noticed that it was the kid who had met them at the airlock. She cursed under her breath at the idiocy of the jumpy jerk.

"I'm okay," Ash grunted and made it shakily to her feet. She was dizzy and used the wall for leverage as a female Salarian and child rushed to the side of the downed Salarian saying something frantically in their language.

"Thane," Shepard commanded and Thane quickly went around cuffing the men's hands behind their backs. Ash heard the radio chirp. "Chakwas, we got a hostage with shotgun wound to the torso, a man with a gunshot wound to his leg coming at you and Williams has a head injury."

"I'm okay," she said more forcefully, touching the back of her head. Her hand came away with blood all over it. "Okay yeah I'll probably need stitches."

"I've got them Shepard. See to Williams." Thane said. He began moving the other men toward the airlock. A couple of guards would be there to meet them and escort them to the brig.

Shepard moved to Ash. "Just stay put," he said, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"I'm fine really. It's just a bump."

Shepard smiled. "You're staining the carpet with blood. After stitches I'm gonna have Chakwas run a full scan."

She sighed, knowing not to argue. She probably needed it anyway. "Yes sir," she responded and started to make her way back. This day hadn't turned out how she'd hoped.

Shepard headed to the med bay. He'd gotten word from Chakwas that the Salarian would survive. Their ship would stay docked with the Normandy until the paper work could be cleared up. Olosovic and his buddies were secured in the brig and they would be dropping them off to the authorities in about twelve hours. Aside from the panicked Salarian and Ash's head injury the job had gone well. It could have been much worse, he thought.

He entered the medbay to find Chakwas standing next to the bed where Ash was sitting. He glanced at the Salarian, out cold on the table then back to them.

"How's my lieutenant?" Shepard asked Chakwas.

Chakwas smiled. "She's just fine. I did a full scan just like you asked. Some bruising and stitches but no actual cerebral damage." She stepped toward the door. "Excuse me a moment," she said and left.

Shepard looked to Ash, sitting on the table, legs dangling. He smiled and mocked a playful punch to her jaw. "Good thing you got a hard head," he joked.

"Hehe, yeah," She laughed slightly, staring at the floor.

He looked at the back of her head. He couldn't even see the stitches through the blood in her hair. "Doc stitch you up?" he asked as he looked.

"I'm pregnant."

"Doesn't look too bad," he continued. "Probably just a…" her words hit him. He looked at her. "Sorry what?"

"Pregnant," she said matter of factly, finally looking to him.

"Pregnant." He repeated, still making sense of the word. What a strange word. It was almost as if he'd never heard the word before in his life.

"Me," She unnecessarily clarified. Her brown eyes found him and looked at him, an odd expression on her face. She was waiting for his reaction. He looked at her, expressionless for a moment, letting the epic news sink in. Something happened in his gut that was unfamiliar, a sort of nervous flutter that rippled out to his extremities. At the end of the flutter he found the corner of his mouth turning up ever so slightly.

"You're…" he started. He looked at the door. "Chakwas…"

Ash nodded. "Trust me she made it very clear." Her own mouth smirked just a little, but her eyes were still expectant. They stared at each other for a good long moment before Shepard laughed slightly. The news was shocking, almost unbelievable and yet there it was, bouncing around in his head. He touched her face.

"Ash," he said affectionately. He had thought there was something else that would come out after but he could do nothing but look at her at the moment. She looked slightly concerned and touched his hand on her face.

"You okay," she asked.

He thought for a second. "Yeah…yeah I'm…are you okay?"

She smiled. "Yeah. I'm…well I'm a little…"

"Shocked?" Shepard laughed.

"Yeah," she laughed back. "To say the least. But I'm…I'm good…with this."

Suddenly overcome with affection for her, Shepard pressed his lips to hers and held them there, very still for a long moment. When he pulled back he let his hand fall from her face and looked at her. Simply staring at her was almost all he could manage at the moment. He ran a hand over his close cropped hair.

"Wow," he said.

"Right?" She laughed. "I'm having a hard time believing it actually."

"I know," He shrugged. "Well I suppose it shouldn't be that hard to believe. But I know it's not what we… planned."

"Exactly," Ash said quickly. "We didn't…Jesus we didn't even have a plan. I had never even thought of this. Why hadn't I ever thought of this?"

Shepard shrugged. "I may have thought of it once or twice," he admitted shyly. She smiled warmly at him. It was true that the thought of a child with Ashley somewhere down the line had crossed his mind on the rarest occasions, usually when the two of them were at their most affectionate. The thoughts had surprised him. He'd never considered being a father, never thought it would be something that would fit in with his life as a marine. He had never thought it a real possibility and had never particularly wanted it. Not until just now.

His thoughts were interrupted by Chakwas' voice behind him.

"I assume you've heard the news, Commander?" Her voice had a somewhat mischievous lilt to it as he turned and smiled at her.

"That's some news," he said, unable to wipe the smile off of his face.

Chakwas chuckled and touched his arm. "Well congratulations to both of you."

"Thanks, doc" Ash said.

"Now then," Chakwas said, back to business. "It's early yet, I'd say about 4 weeks so it would be best if you took it easier than usual for a little while."

Shepard looked at Ash. "Guess no ground missions for you for awhile."

Her face fell. "Oh…right. Forgot about that part." She looked disappointed, prompting Shepard to put a hand on her back.

"Have you experienced any nausea or dizziness or anything?" Chakwas asked.

Ash shook her head. "None…well not yet. Oh great. When do I start throwing up everywhere?"

Chakwas shrugged. "You might not. Some women don't even experience morning sickness. Perhaps you'll get lucky." Chakwas put a comforting hand on Ash's knee. "There's one more thing. And you're not going to like it I'm afraid."

Ash's eyes widened. "What?"

Chakwas sighed. "You need to stay away from the oil you use in the weapons repairs and cleanings."

"…what…" Ash said flatly. Shepard remained silent. This wasn't going to go over well.

"The chemicals in some of the cleaning agents and even some of the metals can be hazardous to the fetus at this stage." Chakwas looked at her apologetically. "I'm sorry, Lieutenant."

Ash looked like someone had just kicked her puppy. "But," she started. "So…okay how long? How long is this 'stage'?"

"For the first trimester at least," Chakwas replied.

"Oh my god," Ash said. "That's…what if I wore gloves or something?"

Chakwas shook her head.

"Well that's just great," Ash complained. "Now I'm completely useless. I can't go on missions and I can't maintain the weapons?"

Shepard sighed. He knew it would be frustrating for her to feel like she wasn't contributing, but he couldn't help but be amused at her attitude about it all. Always a marine, even while pregnant. Pregnant. The word rolled through his brain again. Father. Parents. Child. All of them were words Shepard never thought he'd think. "Don't worry, Ash," he said. "I'll teach you the finer points of mission reports, maintenance paperwork and administrative crap. You'll love it."

She gave him a withering look, but then smiled. "Great." She said flatly. "Thanks Skipper." She looked at Chakwas and Shepard both. "Um…we can keep this quiet right? For now?"

"Of course," Shepard reassured. Chakwas nodded. "We'll tell people when we're ready." He smiled and rubbed her back. "Besides for now I kind of like that we're the only ones who know. We'll wait."

Ash nodded and smiled again. She looked to Chakwas. "Thanks again, doctor. For stitching me up too."

"My pleasure." Chakwas said. "Now I'll ask the two of you to leave. I have real patients to attend to." She smiled.

"You got it doc," Shepard said. He watched as Ash hopped off the table and fought the urge to steady her. He was suddenly feeling over protective, a feeling that was unsurprising to him at the moment, but one that he also knew would be unwelcomed by her. They smiled at each other once more and Shepard couldn't help but grab her hand as they walked out together.


	3. Chapter 3

"Miracle of life, my ass" Ash mumbled quietly as she finished throwing up for the fourth time that morning. It had been just over a week since she'd learned she was pregnant and two days ago she'd been hit with a constant nausea. She hadn't thrown up until this morning and couldn't decide what was worse - being constantly nauseous or finally throwing up. She rinsed her face in the sink and patted it dry with a hand towel, then looked at herself. She was still trying to get used to the idea that she was going to have a child. The prospect of it both terrified her and made her happy. She hadn't planned on this and truthfully was considering writing a strongly worded letter to her birth control provider, but the word "pregnant" was growing on her. She started to brush her teeth and smiled. Aside from all the strange, jarring things like puking, not being able to do her job and suddenly being very tired all the time, everything else was amazing. She couldn't have asked for anything more.

She thought of John for a moment, tried to picture him as a father. The thought made her chuckle. The hardened marine who was usually pretty stoic and quiet about his feelings had been uncharacteristically affectionate toward her since finding out. Not that he wasn't affectionate normally, she thought, but he'd seemed more open about how he was feeling about the whole situation. And he was happy, happier than Ash thought he would be. She finished up and then took a moment to smile to herself in the mirror before walking out of the bathroom.

"Ugh," she complained to Shepard, who was sitting on their couch with a datapad in his hand. He looked up at her and smiled.

"Still sick?" He asked simply. Ash walked over to the couch and plopped down next to him, frowning. The corner of his mouth turned up at her.

"I'd like to find whoever said pregnancy was a glorious, beautiful wonder of nature and put a boot in their face." She said, only half joking. Shepard chuckled at her and one of his hands absentmindedly rubbed her back.

"Anything I can get you?" he asked.

Ash thought a moment. "Jello...green Jello."

Shepard raised an eyebrow. "Jello?"

Ash nodded. "I hate Jello, but it's the only thing that sounds good to me right now." Shepard stared at her with an amused expression on his face for a long moment. She shrugged. "What? I want Jello. Aren't I allowed to have weird cravings now?" Shepard put the datapad on the table in front of him and leaned forward to plant a kiss on the side of her head. She closed her eyes and relaxed into it momentarily before he pulled away.

"As opposed to what, your normal weird cravings?" He stood. "I can't promise there's Jello in the mess, but I can go look for you."

Ash smiled, grabbed a pillow and clutched to her chest as she lay down on the couch. "Thank you. Yes. Go. Hunt and gather." She laughed. "In the meantime I'll look at these reports and do some of your work for you...since I'm bored."

Shepard shook his head and smiled. "All right. Enjoy the reports."

"Uh huh," Ash said flatly, as Shepard turned and walked out.

With a scowl on her face, Ash picked up the datapad. Reports. Paperwork. Officer stuff. She did her fair share of her own officer stuff. In truth she missed being a grunt sometimes. People pointed, said "shoot that" and she did. That was her job. It was blissfully simple and beautiful. She knew Shepard felt the same way. He was no paper pusher either. Neither of them were happy unless they were in the thick of the fight getting their hands dirty. Ash sighed as she realized that so much was about to change, more than she could even imagine probably.

Uninterested, she tossed the datapad to her side. She would get to it later. She stood, thankful that her nausea had seemed to pass and walked to the terminal at the desk. She sat, paused and then entered the information to make a direct call to her sister Abby.

Generally, Ashley and Shepard had agreed to keep things quiet for the moment, but Ash needed to get advice and Abby was the person for the job. Abby had three kids of her own now and she was a sensitive, compassionate soul who would be happy to listen to Ash complain.

The console chirped a few times and then Abby's face appeared in the holo screen.

"Ashie!" she exclaimed. "Hey you," she cooed. Her voice had always been calm and soothing. She was a very zen person, the complete opposite of everyone else in her family.

"Hey sis," Ash smiled. "How's tricks?"

"Oh you know," Abby dismissed. "Same old same old. Everything's good! We miss you, as usual."

Ash smiled. "I miss you too." Abby had their father's coloring, lighter brown hair, fairer skin and green eyes.

"So when are you and John getting back here for a visit?" Abby asked.

"Soon," Ash said without thinking. Then she realized it probably would be very soon. She and Shepard had purchased a house on Amaterasu a few months ago. They were rarely there, but it was a nice place to call home when they weren't on the Normandy. It was on the beach and even though Amaterasu was usually too cool to swim in the ocean, the view of the rocky shoreline surrounded by cliffs was a great place to relax. Ash suddenly realized they would be spending a lot of time there. "Hey Abby," Ash continued, apparently with a strange look on her face.

"What's wrong, babe?" Abby looked concerned. "Everything okay?"

Ash smiled again. "Yes. Everything is just fine. I just need to tell you something and I need you to keep it quiet okay?"

"Of course."

"I'm serious Abby. You can't tell anyone, not even mom."

"I won't," Abby reassured. Ash hoped she was telling the truth. Abby sometimes had a hard time keeping secrets.

"Okay," Ash took a deep breath. "Wait. Are you alone?"

Abby looked around. "Yeah, the kids are at school and Sean is at work."

Ash nodded. "So yeah...about kids..."

Abby nodded. "What about them?"

"Guess you'll be an aunt soon." Ash said simply, feeling her face form into a small, reflexive smile.

Abby smiled at her, nodding for a second, there was a pause and then she finally got it. Abby was a little slow on the uptake sometimes.

"Wh...oh my...oh my god!" She squealed and put her hands over her mouth. "Ash! Oh my!" She started giggling, covering her mouth a shocked expression still on her face.

Ash laughed with her. "I know!" she yelled. They laughed for a long moment and Ash felt her face start to hurt. She was grinning like an idiot and she actually felt her eyes moisten a little with tears. When they finally composed themselves, Abby sat mouth open, waiting for Ash to continue. "You're the only one I've told. Well besides John."

Abby took a deep breath and touched her hand to her chest. Abby was a feeler. She was an emotional, spiritual woman. "Oh Ash," she said softly, prompting Ash to well up with tears. She blamed the hormones, but she knew it was just her finally getting emotional over it. She hadn't squealed or cried about it yet. Abby was bringing it out of her.

"It's early," Ash said. "Just over five weeks. I just...wanted to talk to you, you know? Especially since you've had kids. I need to vent a little and squeal a little, that sort of thing."

Abby couldn't stop grinning. "How are you feeling?"

"I feel like crap," Ash laughed. "I threw up four times this morning. But I'm...shit I'm really happy, Ab. I didn't think I could be this happy about it. It's just... You know I don't even know if it's really set in yet, you know."

Abby nodded. "It will. You're gonna wake up one day and just like that you're gonna feel like a mom. Trust me. And then you'll freak out. And then you'll cry. And then you'll laugh. And then John will look at you all weird. And then you'll settle in to mommy mode."

"That sounds confusing," Ash laughed.

"It is. Any weird emotional breakdowns yet?" Abby asked.

"What do you mean?"

"When I was pregnant with Maddy I was at the bank. And there was this curtain. It was red. There was nothing special about the curtain. Nothing at all. But for some reason it got me thinking about God and Mom and Dad and family and having babies and then I started crying. And then I started thinking about the world and all the blood that gets spilled in war and that I was bringing a child into a world so beautiful and yet so ugly and I started crying harder."

"Jesus." Ash was genuinely concerned now.

"And then the customer service guy asked if I was okay and I said 'I'm okay, just pregnant' but then people were looking at me and I got embarassed and started sobbing and ran out. Then I cried the rest of the day and Sean didn't know what the hell to do with me. I think he was afraid."

"...Jesus." Ash was genuinely horrified now.

"Yeah." Abby paused. "You shouldn't be around guns."

Ash groaned. "Don't worry about that. I'm not allowed to touch them right now because of the chemicals. I can't do anything here, Ab. I'm useless."

"You're not useless. You're nurturing life!"

Ash gave her sister a withering look. "You know what I mean. I can't fight, I can't do my job. Jacob is probably wondering why I haven't been in the armory. I can only give so many excuses before people start to wonder."

"Just relax, Ash," Abby said, her voice soothing. Ash felt her shoulders slump. "Enjoy this. Don't think of it as an inconvenience. This is an amazing opportunity." Abby smiled affectionately at her. "I am so happy for you."

Ash smiled back. "Thanks, sis." She frowned. "But seriously you can't tell mom yet. I wanna tell her, just not yet."

"My lips are sealed." Abby mimed zipping her lips. "So how is John handling the news?"

Ash smiled again. "He's very calm. Probably for my benefit. He's happy. He's been great." She shrugged. "I knew he would be."

Abby grinned. "Where is he now?"

Ash laughed. "Off to search for green jello for me. He's a good one, that guy."

"Yes," Abby said. "He is. Oh god. You guys are gonna be the cutest parents."

Ash imagined it a moment, a thoughtful look on her face. Currently she could only picture a miniature version of herself in a little set of armor working on a little gun. "Hm," she said. "I hope we're not too...military...to be parents."

"What are you talking about? You guys are awesome."

"We shoot people." Ash suddenly looked at her sister nervously. "We blow things up. What if we make our kid call us 'sir' and 'ma'am'? What if something happens to one of us?" Ash's stomach turned. Her nausea was back, but not because of morning sickness.

Abby put her hand up. "Stop. Right now. See what you're doing now is totally normal. But stop. You guys will be fine." Ash relaxed a little. It was true she was freaking out a little more than she should she should. Once again, she chocked it up to hormonal imbalance. She wondered how long she could get away with using that excuse for any weird behavior. Abby smiled when she saw she had relaxed. "Besides," she joked. "What better training for parenthood than being a rough and tough space marine?"

Ash was on the verge of full on tears now, and wiped one from her cheek as she smiled. "Thanks, Ab. Thank you so much." She wiped the tears away from her cheeks, then shook it off. "Gah. This is bad."

"It gets worse." Abby smiled. "I love you so much, Ashie."

"I love you too. I'll talk to you soon." She smiled.

"Bye" Abby waved and grinned and then disconnected, leaving Ash to sit, red faced at the terminal. She wasn't sure if she felt better or worse now. All she knew for sure is that she really wanted her damn Jello.


	4. Chapter 4

Shepard ran his fingers lightly up Ash's arm and she smiled. They lounged together on the bed, under the cool white sheet, her back pressed against his chest. As they sat, Shepard smiled. It was the first time they'd made love since learning she was pregnant about four weeks ago. The last couple of days had been the first days in her now eight weeks that she hadn't felt tired or miserable. She had finally started eating real food again too at Dr. Chakwas' insistence. Green Jello was not a meal, though it had been almost the only thing she'd been able to stomach.

"Well," he said. "Glad you're feeling better." He kissed her tan shoulder.

She laughed. "I bet you are." She settled back onto him. "Me too," She sighed. "Besides, we'd better enjoy this stuff while we can before I turn into a house."

Shepard chuckled and kissed the side of her head. "I plan on enjoying it then too."

"House and all?" She chuckled. She hadn't started to show yet. At least he didn't see any difference, though she swore she'd gained weight.

He pulled her close. "House and all," he said softly into the back of her hair. This seemed to satisfy her and he felt her relax.

"You think anyone suspects yet?" She asked. They'd been keeping it to themselves for now, while it could still be theirs, though Ash had admitted to telling Abby. Shepard was glad she had. Ash wasn't the girly type, especially around him and the people she worked with, but he figured if there was anything she needed to be uncharacteristically girly about it would be this. He wanted her to have that. He was amused at the thought of her squealing and grinning with her sister. It probably hadn't happened exactly that way, but nevertheless the thought warmed his heart.

He shrugged. "Not for sure, but at this point they have to suspect something. Thane asked if you were okay since you haven't been going out on missions."

Ash whined. "See? I told you. That's what armor is for," she joked. "Think they make maternity armor?"

Shepard moved a piece of her dark, wavy hair away from her neck. "Now that I'd like to see."

"Right?" She said and giggled. "Jacob was giving me shit about not being in the armory. I don't think he suspects. I just think he thinks I'm lazy." She shifted. "I can't keep avoiding people. Well at least in a few weeks I can get back to weapons maintenance. The reports are crap."

"Guess we'll have to tell people soon," Shepard said. He felt her frown, felt her shoulders slump. "You okay?"

"Yeah," she said unconvincingly. "I just... well I'm gonna have to go soon. I don't want to, but I know you're gonna make me." She smiled. "Right?"

He sighed. He felt like the bad guy suddenly. "Ash,"

"No," she cut him off. "I get it. It's okay." She shrugged. "It would be stupid to keep a pregnant woman on board a small frigate like this. I mean once everyone finds out they're gonna be...uncomfortable."

"What do you mean?" He knew exactly what she meant.

"I mean our lives are not exactly the safest." She said. He nodded. It was true. Anything could happen, and he was already feeling over protective of her, something he knew would eventually just piss her off. "Weird stuff could happen, we could get attacked. I don't know. I just don't want... people will feel like they have to protect...someone like me."

Shepard smiled warmly at her. He could tell she was feeling down about it. He pulled her close. "If there's anyone in the galaxy that doesn't need protecting it's you, Ash. And everyone knows that."

She turned to look up at him then, her eyes vulnerable. "What if I'm a crappy mom?"

The question surprised him a little. It seemed out of nowhere. He looked at her softly. "What are you talking about?" He asked, genuinely surprised that she would entertain such a silly idea.

She shrugged. "I'm not exactly...nurturing. Or gentle. Or particularly affectionate. I didn't ever really consider it much." She paused and Shepard waited, knowing she would continue. "It's just I've never felt any kind of maternal instinct. Not really. I like kids fine. I love kids! And I'm good with them. I'm...I'm a fun aunt. Abby always knew she would have kids. She's just this natural mom and it fit and I'm..." She laughed, then dismissed herself. "I'm just being stupid about it. Sorry."

He wanted to tell her she was being over hard on herself. She usually was about some things. In her own way she was all of those things, nurturing, gentle, and affectionate, but she wouldn't believe him if he told her. "Ash -" he began.

"And now I feel like a jerk. I really am excited. I am." She smiled. He let her continue. "God I'm…so excited. I'm just...nervous." She smiled then. "Take on the Reapers? Sure. Raise a perfectly well adjusted healthy, happy child? Woah." He ran a thumb along her cheek. She had been so composed about the whole thing. He was starting to wonder when they would have this talk. He had been feeling similarly.

His fingers ran through her hair. They smiled at each other and she rested her head on his chest. He decided the best way to answer her was to be honest. "Ash, its okay to be nervous. I'm nervous too." He shrugged. "I don't know the first thing about being a father..." He sighed. Father. The word had been a constant thought in his mind lately. It was a word he decided he loved. "So you're not like Abby." He said. "So what? I'm glad you're not. And you'll be a great mother."

"You think so?" She asked quietly from her position from with her cheek on his chest.

"I know so," he responded and gave her a reassuring squeeze. "Ash you don't need to worry." He shrugged and continued. "You're gonna be amazing, because you are amazing."

She sat up to look at him. "Have I mentioned that I love you?" She said, a small smile turning up the corners of her lips. Shepard smiled and kissed her.

"It's come up on occasion." They laughed.

She looked guilty. "I can't shake the image of a little boy in little armor with a little N7 on the little shoulder..."

He paused. "Me neither, now. Okay that's funny." He kissed her, letting his lips linger on hers for a long moment. "You okay?" he whispered.

She nodded and rested her forehead on his. "Yep." She sighed. "Guess we better get back to work."

"Oh yeah. I've got a stack of reports for you to do." He joked.

She smacked him with a pillow. "Jerk."

Shepard took one last moment to wrap his arms around her and gently tackle her to the bed. She giggled as he kissed her neck. It was the moments like this he truly enjoyed, moments he looked forward to. He'd been thinking a lot about these moments recently, thinking he wanted to have as many as life would allow. But for now, it was back to work.

* * *

Popsicles. Shepard had been good enough to indulge Ash's newest craving. There they were, in the freezer. She rooted around for a grape flavored one in the mess and didn't hear Jacob walk up behind her.

"Grab me a cherry one?" He asked. Ash jumped.

"Jesus, Jacob. I didn't hear you. And here." She handed him a cherry popsicle. "What's goin' on?"

Jacob sat, looked at her and raised an eyebrow. "I could ask the same of you." He bit the frozen treat. "What's up? You haven't been around."

Ash knew this would come up eventually. She didn't want to lie, but she didn't want to tell anyone the news yet either. She could tell he could see her thinking. She needed to word this carefully.

"Williams?" Jacob prodded again.

"I'm... focusing on other duties for a little while." She said. She casually sucked on the tip of the popsicle.

"Uh huh," Jacob said, unconvinced. "You and reports don't exactly mix. I know that. Before a few weeks ago wild horses couldn't drag you away from the weapons in the armory."

Ash frowned. "I know." She looked wistfully toward the armory. "I miss them..."

Jacob smiled a little. They had become buds, working in the armory when not on missions. In truth the job of cleaning and maintaining weapons wasn't in either of their job descriptions. It was just something they both enjoyed, a habit born of years of doing it. Ash found Jacob surprisingly fun, and they often listened to music, joked around, picked on each other. She really liked him. His smile faded quickly.

"Come on, Williams," he coaxed. "What's up? You okay?"

Ash considered telling him for a moment. She was suddenly filled with a burst of excitement at the thought of spreading the news, but it was too early. She couldn't.

"Look Jacob," she sounded apologetic. "There's just..." She decided to be somewhat honest. "It's personal."

He nodded. "Okay. I won't pry. It's none of my business, I get that." He looked in her eyes. "But you're okay?"

She smiled at him. "Yeah. Everything is good. I promise."

Jacob seemed satisfied with this, nodded and winked. "Take it easy, Lieutenant," he said and he walked off eating his snack.

Ash frowned. This secret was going to be tough to keep for much longer.


	5. Chapter 5

Ash finished her jog, or rather her jog that had turned into a walk about a mile back. Her belly, at 22 weeks was just big enough to get in the way of her normal daily workouts. As she stood on the cool beach in her shorts and long sleeved tee she glanced down. She thought she looked small for a pregnancy that was five months along, but she wasn't complaining. Her sister Abby had been a house with all her kids by this stage.

She touched the low, round bump affectionately. "It's a good thing this wasn't a military drill, kiddo or I'd have washed out." She smiled down at the bump, getting a sudden surge of excitement at the thought of meeting the person it would become. Generally Ash had felt great. There'd been no complications, she had energy and she hadn't gained too much weight. She was embracing the idea of eating whatever she wanted – more so than usual. Using pregnancy as an excuse to order nachos was ingenius, she thought with a chuckle.

She glanced out to the choppy water. The beach was cool this afternoon, and the air was fresh. She heard the strange whirring call of a couple of seaswifts, birds that were particular to Amaterasu. Turning to return to the house, she looked up at it. It was a small, one floor, modern design with big windows looking out to the beach. It was nice and homey with three bedrooms, two baths and all the conveniences Alliance marines weren't used to. Opulence was something Ash never had and never wanted. She and Shepard both had spent most of their childhoods in modest base housing or in the small family quarters of starships. Ash simply couldn't understand why anyone would want anything more. The house was starting to feel more like home since she'd been there. She'd forgotten how much she liked it. When they'd bought it, they simply figured it would be more of a vacation home. Their work kept them busy on the SR2, or on Earth where they'd helped with the rebuilding efforts. They rarely got back to spend time here. It was quiet.

Ash slid the glass door to her kitchen open and stepped inside. She got herself some orange juice from the fridge and poured a glass. She reminded herself that it wouldn't be very quiet for long so she should enjoy it now.

And she was enjoying it. She was spending a lot of time with her mother and sisters, and the alone time had been a surprisingly welcome way to stay relaxed and get her head on straight. Her mind wasn't racing anymore, which she thought was encouraging. She was starting to feel more ready for motherhood, though she suspected that the closer her due date was, the more she would start to panic.

She finished the juice and took the latest sonogram picture off of the front of the fridge. She smiled at it. Her doctor had informed her this morning that everything looked fine. Ash still couldn't tell based on the picture. It was amazing how much she couldn't see. The doctor had even pointed out the head, arms, and little feet. To Ashley it just looked like a ball of mushy shadows. She felt slightly guilty about it. She hoped Shepard would be able to see what the doctor had been talking about.

She headed to her terminal. She hadn't seen Shepard in six weeks, not since she'd left the Normandy for Amaterasu. They'd announced it to the crew finally and everyone had seemed genuinely happy for them - even Jack, whose "oh good, Shepard spawn" was said with much less dislike than her usual tone.

Naturally, she and Shepard had been keeping in contact every day. She missed him, but she had insisted that he keep working. "You're not gonna miss much," she'd joked. "Just me getting fatter." He'd laughed and kissed her. It was hard to say goodbye, to leave the ship, the place she had called home for so long.

They hadn't really thought about what they would do after the baby was born. Ash had been avoiding the topic, and suspected Shepard had been too. Their work was so important to both of them. It defined them, gave them purpose. The thought of suddenly stopping it altogether was stressful.

She uploaded the image into the body of the message she was composing.

_Hey you._

_Saw Dr. Ghalib this morning. She said everything looks great and things are progressing normally. Fingers crossed that she's right. She took this. I'm not sure what the hell I'm supposed to be seeing here, but maybe you can make sense of it. The doc asked me if I wanted to know the sex of the baby. It hadn't even occurred to me that was an option until she asked. I told her no. I'm not sure I want to know, especially if you're not around to hear it with me. So unless you want me to call her, unless you're just dying to know I think I'll save this for both of us. We have to have something right? :) You're missing all the exciting... girth._

_He or she is really active right now, moving around. She/he gets like this after a run. It's cute. It's like s/he wants to join me for a workout. Or... "It" is upset it's over and is trying to motivate me to keep going. …I'm thinking I should have learned the sex just so I don't have to write "he or she" or "s/he" or "it" anymore. Jeez._

_Abby is insisting on taking me to some new agey women's goddess friggin damned thing tonight. I have no idea what to expect but if it's Abby I'm guessing there will be a lot of "celebrating our bliss" or something. God. Shoot me now. The next couple of months really need to go by quick or who knows what I'll agree to. _

_How was Invictus? Shitty planet right? Lots of humidity or something? Anyway I hope there was no trouble. I hate not being there watching your back. Then again I guess I am gestating your offspring. :) I worry though. You know that. And I miss you. You know that too. I'd love it if tomorrow or the next day we can talk live. I kind of need to hear your voice right now. _

_Ugh, now I'm getting all mushy._

_I'll talk to you soon. Be careful out there, Skipper._

Ash hit send, then stood and headed for the bathroom. A nice long hot shower sounded amazing. Being here, having the time to indulge in showers longer than ten minutes at a time had been like heaven. She smiled and turned the water on, allowing it to steam up the room as she undressed.

* * *

Shepard, Jacob and Jack sat at the quiet bar in the Citadel Wards. Shepard didn't like the big flashy places, though Jacob had wanted to go to Flux. He'd wanted to meet up with some women he knew there, but Shepard wasn't feeling social tonight. He needed to unwind after the last mission the Council had sent him on. And a bar that smelled like stale beer was just the place for it. Luckily Jacob had been outvoted thanks to Jack, who was her usual anti-social self. At this point, Shepard thought it was more for her own amusement than any real seething rage she had. But he wouldn't let on that was what he thought. He smiled at her.

"What," she said flatly, putting her drink to her lips.

"Nothin," he responded. "Glad you decided to come out."

"You said booze, I said okay." Jack put her feet up on the chair next to her. "Besides I like this place. It's dark and quiet. No tourists."

Jacob looked around. "No women either... not including you Jack, of course."

Jack cackled. "You tryin' to hook up with me, Jacob?"

Jacob laughed. "I like my body in one piece thanks."

"Too bad for you then," Jack joked and then took her shot.

Shepard sipped his beer. "Stop flirting, both of you," he said in his usual dry manner. He had just spent a particularly unpleasant week tracking down some slavers in the Terminus. It had worked out surprisingly well after a lot of cat and mouse. The bastards had surrendered peacefully and the slaves were able to get turned over to the proper authorities. It sickened Shepard how after everything, all that was almost lost just a few short years ago, didn't even matter to some. Everyone in the galaxy could have been dead. And still, oppression and money mattered most to some people. Part of him had hoped they would put up a fight if only so he could rid the galaxy of them once and for all. The past few years had occasionally given him an occasional pessimistic view of the universe. Ash would call it realism.

The corner of his mouth turned up as he thought of her. He'd gotten her last message with the picture attached. Predictably he hadn't been able to make anything out either, but he'd still stared at it for a long time, just smiling.

"What the fuck is that stupid look on your face for?" Jack asked, shaking Shepard out of his thoughts.

"What look?" Shepard's face was serious again.

Jack rolled her eyes. "If all you're gonna do is sit here and daydream about your future litter - that is what you were doing wasn't it? - then I gotta go." She stood.

"Where you goin'?" Jacob asked.

Jack shrugged. "I dunno. Probably to find trouble." She grinned. "See you on the ship."

"Don't find too much trouble. Please?" Shepard called after her. She waved over her head as she left.

Jacob smiled. "She's in a surprisingly good mood." They both laughed.

Jacob sipped his beer. "So how's Williams doing?" he asked. "I got an email from her the other day, something about being homesick. Only your woman can be living on a beach somewhere and be homesick for a damn cold dark spaceship."

Shepard smiled. "I know. She's good," he responded. "Things are good, everyone's healthy." He realized. "Oh here, she sent me this." He pulled the image of the sonogram up on his omni-tool. "I can't make heads or ass of it."

Jacob stared at the image for a second. "What are you talking about? It's right there clear as day."

Shepard looked again. "What is? I can't...tell..." He tilted his head.

Jacob pointed. "Right there, look. There's the head."

"...uh huh..."

"And legs."

"...right."

Jacob shook his head. "How can you not see this?"

"Hey," Shepard countered. "It's not just me. Williams couldn't make it out either." He swigged his beer.

"You know if it's a boy or a girl?"

Shepard shook his head. "We're waiting." He looked at the picture again. "Not that I could tell anyway. The doctor could have told us it was a Hanar and I'd believe it. Look at this. What is this?" He pointed at…something.

Jacob squinted. "Looks like…an elbow? I don't know. A knee?"

Shepard shut the image off. "Now you're just making stuff up." He sighed in exasperation and cracked his neck. He hadn't really allowed himself to be nervous about the whole fatherhood thing. But the nerves and questions and stress of what would come were choosing this moment to surface. He paused. Jacob noticed.

"What's up?" he asked. "Don't tell me you're worried about being a dad."

"Not worried," Shepard said simply. "Just feeling the normal stuff, I guess, hoping I end up being a decent father, that sort of thing." He smiled. "Ash is gonna be great…"

"Couldn't tell you about good parenting, Shepard" Jacob responded. "My dad was an asshole. Mom did what she could." He shook his head. "You already got a lot of fathers beat just by wanting your kid."

"I suppose that's true," Shepard said in a low voice. "There's a lot to think about. A lot to plan for. I've been putting off some things." He corrected himself. "Well Ash and I both have. I think it's because I don't wanna approach it like it's a tactical maneuver."

"What do you mean?"

"I just mean we plan for everything, all of us, marines. We're pragmatic. Realistic. Sometimes robotic. Things happen and we just adapt without thinking. I guess I'd rather not just treat my impending offspring like something on the to do list." He dismissed himself. "Ah, it's stupid."

Jacob nodded. "So you mean you and Williams haven't exactly done a lot of planning as far as what you both are gonna do after this?"

Shepard paused for a long moment. "Yeah," he said finally. "That's exactly it."

Jacob sat back in his chair and stretched his legs out. "Well," he began. "What do you wanna do?"

Shepard hadn't considered what he wanted. He rarely did. Habit and years of service in the military had been just that - service. Doing what he did he'd learned pretty quickly that what he wanted didn't matter, only what needed to be done. He exhaled a frustrated breath.

"Hard to say, Jacob," he said. Shepard narrowed his eyes in thought. "I want some time off. I want to spend time on Amaterasu with Ash." He nodded. It was that simple. His desire for the moment was a break from the life he had been leading nonstop for the past several years.

"There you go," Jacob said as if he'd just helped Shepard discover something.

Shepard laughed. "That easy right?"

"Yup."

"Not hardly," Shepard countered. "I have crew, the ship, responsibilities" he paused. "...duty. I love all these things, but it's not exactly conducive to great parenting." He thought of his parents. They'd loved him, of that he was sure. And they'd done the best they could. His childhood was fine. But he had missed them a lot. One or both of his parents had always been on duty and away for months at a time. "Sounds... sentimental. But I don't want my kid to feel the way I did growing up."

Jacob exhaled and took a long swig of his beer. "You'll figure it out, Shepard. It's just another thing to juggle." He shrugged and smiled. "Not that I'd know."

Shepard straightened up. "All right," he said. "This is getting maudlin."

Jacob laughed. "You goin' soft already, Commander?"

"Not likely," Shepard smiled.

Jacob got serious again. "Look, Shepard. You've done more for this..._universe _than anyone in it. You took out Sovereign. You took took out the Collectors. Hell you _died_ protecting the galaxy, then came back from the dead to kick some more ass. And you spearheaded the fight that saved all of us from extinction." Shepard started to interrupt, but Jacob put a hand up. "You're not obligated to keep fighting all the time. There are plenty of damn fights out there, Shepard. They don't all need to be yours... greedy bastard."

Shepard laughed. Jacob had a point. Ash had always joked that he was a workaholic. Some part of him had always known she was right. "I don't even know what to do with a _peaceful_ life."

"Do what normal people do," Jacob said. "Spend time with your woman, play catch or whatever with your kid and hang out on a beach. Maybe read a book or something, damn. Don't you know how to relax?"

"I can relax," Shepard deadpanned.

"Yeah the kind of relaxing you and the lieutenant have been doin' is what got you into-"

"Shut it, Taylor." Shepard put a stop to his joke before he finished it. He smiled. "Guess we'll figure it out."

They both sat quietly for the next couple of minutes, drinking their beers. Something seemed to catch Jacob's attention.

"Look at this," he said, nodding to the woman at the bar who had thrown him a look and was now ordering a drink. "You mind if I take a walk?"

Shepard dismissed him with a hand gesture and watched Jacob get up and walk over to the woman. Then he pulled up the sonogram picture again and stared at it for a few seconds. Eventually, the outline of what he was sure was a head, seemed to form in his vision. He laughed at himself. "Huh…look at that," he mumbled. After a moment, he pulled up his messaging system.

_Hey. Sorry I couldn't respond sooner. I miss you too. Got a little downtime. Gonna take it. Coming home to you... both of you. See you soon. - John_

Shepard hit send, a small crooked smile on his face.


	6. Chapter 6

The sun was warm, and Ash was taking advantage of it. She sat on the comfortable padded deck chair, put her head back and closed her eyes. She listened to the breeze on the beach, the waves crashing gently on the sand. She took a long deep breath and rested her hand on her belly. The baby was very still this morning. Ash wondered if it was because she hadn't gone for a walk today. She'd been too lazy. Overnight she'd seemed to grow larger, though she still thought her bump looked small for 26 weeks. The doctor had assured her all was well. Her thoughts were interrupted as a shadow crossed her face. She opened her eyes.

"Hey," Shepard greeted, a small smile on his face. It took Ash a full second to realize he was actually there.

"Oh my God!" she gasped excitedly and sprung up from her chair and into his arms. She squeezed him as he wrapped his arms around her with a chuckle. "I wasn't expecting you for another two days." She squeezed harder. She'd missed him terribly.

"Took a shortcut." His words were muffled into her neck. He placed a kiss there and pulled back to look at her. He smiled and touched her face. "How we doin'?"

Ash grinned and glanced down. His gaze followed. "Fat."

He laughed and brought his other hand to rest on the side of her stomach. The contact was a comfort to her. They stood for a second or two staring at her belly before Shepard met her eyes again with his. "You look beautiful," he said simply.

She smiled and pressed her lips to his. He kissed her back, his thumb grazing her cheek. When they parted the two of them remained in their casual embrace and Shepard brushed some hair off of her face, tucking it behind one of her ears with a practiced familiarity.

"So how is Jacob handling being in charge?" She asked.

"He's fine. He's cut out for command. I think he was nervous, but he'll be fine."

Ash searched his face and his blue eyes. "And what about you?" she asked softly. "You sure you're okay with leaving?"

"Yes," he answered quickly. "I'm fine." He took a moment to really think, and then nodded. "It feels a little strange but…this is where I want to be. I missed you."

Ash smiled again. The truth of his words made her relax. She knew that as much as he wanted to be here with here it would take time for him to adjust. He was a man who lived for his work and she knew he liked to keep busy. Relaxing for long periods of time was difficult for Shepard. It had meant a lot that he was here now, a good two months before they'd originally planned. She kissed him again. "Come on," she nodded toward the house. He gripped her hand as they walked.

"So what about you," Shepard asked. "Feeling all right?"

"Can't complain, Skipper. I've been keeping as busy as I can. It's good to be able to see Mom whenever. Oh by the way, dinner at her house later."

Shepard nodded. "That'll be nice. Haven't seen her in awhile."

They entered through the already open sliding door and into the kitchen. "Speaking of moms, your mother emailed me."

Shepard raised an eyebrow at her. "She did?"

"Yeah. She just wanted to see how I was doing. You know she signed her email 'Captain Hannah Shepard.'"

They both laughed a little as Ash headed to the fridge. "Yeah," Shepard said flatly. "I think that's how she signs her emails to me too." Ash chuckled at his joke. She glanced at him and noticed the way the natural sunlight caught the lines in his face and played off a few of the still visible scars there. Most women would find John Shepard handsome. Ash thought he was the most incredible looking man she'd ever seen.

She opened the refrigerator and looked inside. "You hungry? I could make something…" Her words were cut off as Shepard stepped behind her and pushed the door closed. She closed her eyes as he slid his arms around her from behind and kissed her neck. A delicious chill ran through her as she exhaled and tilted her head to give him better access.

"I'm not hungry." His voice was quiet and husky and made Ash's head spin. She turned in his arms and kissed him deeply. His hands roamed over the back of her shoulders down to the small of her back. She let out a small sigh into his mouth, which prompted him to lift her. He grunted quietly with just a little more effort than usual. Ash couldn't keep from laughing as she wrapped her legs around him. He laughed back, his breath warming her lips. Her pregnant belly was just big enough to subtly get in the way of his seductive gesture. It threw them both for only a moment before they continued their kisses as Shepard carried her toward the bedroom.

* * *

"Heads up," Shepard said as he tossed a peach at Ash. She caught it and relaxed back onto the pillows, smiling. She was practically glowing, he thought. Her pregnancy had given her a near tangible bliss that seemed contagious. And in the afterglow of their reunion she looked the most beautiful he'd seen her. Perfectly happy. He lay back down on the bed and pulled the sheet over his naked frame. He moved close and watched her take a bite of the fruit.

"Mmmm," she cooed. "Thank you."

He kissed her shoulder. "You know a lot of guys might feel insecure if right after sex the first thing their woman said was 'I'm hungry.'" Ash covered her mouth as she laughed. She grabbed him and kissed him, and the taste of the sweet fruit juice migrated to his own still smiling lips.

"Sorry," she said. "I have pregnant brain. I move from one thought to food pretty quickly these days."

He traced her collarbone with his fingers and then trailed them down her arm. "Well lucky for you I'm willing to cater to any needs you have."

She offered him a bit of peach, which he happily accepted, his still awake taste buds tingling with the tart juices. With her other hand she stroked his chest idly. "Good," she said. "You know you got here just in time."

"Oh yeah?"

"Mmhm. A few days ago I swear my hormones just shifted straight into sex overdrive. All I've been able to think about sex."

"Hm," Shepard said thoughtfully. "That sounds terrible." He nodded. "I'll help however I can."

She giggled. Ash sometimes got a little giggly after they made love. Shepard loved it. It was another private treat for him to see her so relaxed and happy. They were his moments, and he treasured them. "Well," she said, placing the half eaten peach on the night stand. She drew herself close to him. "This was an amazing start."

He pulled her closer for a proper kiss. The soft skin of her breasts and belly pressed against his chest and stomach as they lay on their sides. He looked at her.

She smiled. "I'm glad you're here," she whispered.

"Me too." He looked at her for a long moment before feeling something strange. He furrowed his brow and parted with her to look at her stomach. "Whoa…"

"Did you feel that?" Ash said excitedly?

Shepard laughed. "Feel it? It nearly cracked my ribs!"

Ash laughed, sat up and discarded the sheet. She felt around on her stomach with a thoughtful look on her face before she grabbed his hand and put it in the correct spot. "There" she said. Shepard let his fingers be guided to the spot where Ash indicated. After a second he felt it again, a smooth movement under the surface. He smiled. Ash jumped again. "Wow," she said. She felt another spot. "Really movin' around in there." She grabbed his other hand. "Here." She pushed his fingers onto the spot. "Feels like bubbles."

Shepard sat up and repositioned himself to better touch her stomach. As his hands rested there and as the baby,_ his_ baby, moved around he felt a mixture of things. He was excited. It was the first he felt it, the first real interaction with his child in a way. He marveled that anything could just be created so perfectly in this way. He felt a bit of guilt, for not having been there sooner. He felt apprehension about what the future would hold for their child. It was a very clear moment. He realized was half smiling with a glaze over his face. "That's…." he could feel her smiling at him. He looked up. "I love you."

She chuckled at his uncharacteristically sweet words. "It's funny. Normally only starts kicking around after a good workout."

"Well…technically what you just did counts."

"True. Oh god that's so weird. Heshe…was here the whole time. God I hope nothing I said scars him or her psychologically."

Shepard laughed. "Probably nothing worse than calling it heshe."

"Or 'it.'" Ash looked down at her bare torso. "I'm kind of a fan of the belly."

"Yeah? Me too."

"Right? I just feel so…full…and round." She looked at her breasts. "And these! I had to buy new bras. I don't even know what to do with these."

"I have some ideas," Shepard joked. He reached out and his hand was smacked away with a giggle.

The rest of the day passed quickly as they talked and ate and sat around. Shepard filled Ash in on all the ship gossip while he massaged her feet, and Ash picked a vid for them to watch. It felt strange to call this place home. As they sat on their couch Shepard had to make a conscious decision to relax. He had to remind himself that he wasn't going to be called on the comm any moment to deal with some kind of problem. It was odd, but it was nice. He was getting used to the idea of a normal, peaceful existence.


	7. Chapter 7

Shepard narrowed his blue eyes at the strange piece of metal in his left hand. He then looked to the other strange piece of metal in his right and sighed. Sitting on the floor in what was fast becoming the nursery he looked at the parts of the disassembled crib that surrounded him. He'd abandoned the instructions pretty early on figuring it couldn't be that hard. His masculine bravado had gotten the better of him and now he was paying for it. He'd had exceedingly more difficult assignments, and yet the assembly of a simple baby's crib was daunting him to no end. The crib was a gift from Ashley's mother, who apparently was starting to worry that they didn't have enough "baby things" yet. Ash was only in her 30th week so Shepard wasn't really sure what the rush was. He looked around the nursery. He supposed it did look pretty bare. He dropped the pieces of metal and grumbled.

"How's it going?" Shepard turned to see Ash at the door. She smiled a little when she saw the mess. "Not so great I take it." She moved into the room and with no small amount of effort, lowered herself to a sitting position on the rug with a quiet groan.

Shepard smiled. "Don't strain yourself," he teased. Ash rubbed her perfectly round belly as she settled in. She was still relatively small, having gained almost no weight really other than her stomach as far as Shepard could tell. It looked like she had swallowed a small basketball. In the four weeks he'd been home he'd seen Ash's belly grow, watched her deal with the changes she was going through, held her when she cried about nothing in particular when her hormones got wacky. Kidded her mercilessly after when she looked embarrassed and frustrated by it. He'd rubbed her feet, happily catered to whatever instantaneous sexual whim overtook her, and let her pick all their meals. He was glad he wasn't missing any of it like they'd originally planned.

She smacked his arm playfully. "Shut up. You try carryin' this around all the time. My back is killing me."

Shepard's hand instinctively rose and found its way under her hair to rub the back of her neck. "Suck it up, marine," he said quietly. She gave him a withering look. She clearly wasn't in the mood. He turned his attention back to the pile of crib and shook his head. "Can't we just let the baby sleep in a padded storage crate?"

Ash chuckled. "I'm starting to agree with that idea. We could get on the horn and ask the Normandy's engineers to come by." She picked up a piece of crib and looked at it. "They might be able to figure this out."

"I'll figure it out," Shepard said, suddenly feeling defensive. He was having a hard time adjusting to the quiet life. He had to admit it was nice, but he found himself scrambling for tasks and busywork in the few weeks he'd been here. Not here. Home. This was home now. As grateful as he was to have the time to spend with Ash, to really enjoy the moments with her in this beautiful place surrounded by family, in peaceful existence, John Shepard was a man of habit. He'd never considered himself a workaholic. Just dedicated to his job and his mission. He couldn't remember the last time he didn't have a pressing life or death mission. Long term relaxation was unfamiliar territory for him. He was feeling restless.

And Ash knew it. "So Jacob says you've been calling like five times a day..."

Busted. Shepard shrugged. "I'm just trying to keep in the loop." He scowled. "And once a day. Tops."

"John he sends daily reports because you asked him to."

"I know." Ash smiled at him. He knew she understood. She had some of the same restless tendencies. They were people of action, not leisure. By necessity she had adapted much better to it than he had. He was glad she had. He just wished he could too. Shepard grunted slightly at her. "You think I'm being a dick."

"No." Ash responded quickly. "I think you're being a captain, a dedicated one. But you left the ship under Jacob's command because you trust him to make the same decisions you would." She squeezed his hand. "So trust him. Let him do his job."

Shepard sighed. "I know. You're right. I just...feel like I'm not doing anything. It's weird."

"Trust me, I know the feeling."

"Least you're," he gestured to her stomach "You know. With the thing." He paused. "Maybe I'm not cut out for this whole father thing."

Ash smiled thinly. "Well it's a little late for hindsight."

He was sounding like an ass, he realized. He pulled her closer to him and kissed her head. "Sorry. That sounded bad. You know what I meant." One arm encircled her shoulder.

"I do," she said softly.

"I need you to know I love being here," he reinforced. "I love this, us." He paused to allow his thoughts to form. "I guess it's what I – what most soldiers – really want when you get down to it. Everything is so tense and high risk and urgent that…." He trailed off.

He felt her smile. "The fantasy of every extraordinary person is the ordinary?"

He laughed softly. "That's not far off I suppose. It just…never occurred to me I could have it."

She pulled back to look at him. "John," she said reassuringly and smiled. "Did you really expect to just go from career head basher straight to snuggly dad guy in just a few weeks? Even a few months?" She laughed. "You always have a mission." She shrugged. "You still do. It's just… different."

"I'll say." They laughed again.

"Look," Ash started again. "It's an adjustment, Commander. We'll adapt. We'll figure it out. " She exhaled. "I mean I still have my jarhead habits too. The other day when I was out, some guy grabbed my arm from behind and my first instinct was to turn and deliver a left hook." She shrugged.

Shepard was amused. She hadn't told him this. "So did he live?"

She exhaled. "Yes. He lived. I didn't actually hit him, but my arm definitely raised. I mean he surprised me!" Shepard couldn't help laughing out loud at the thought of pregnant Ashley delivering a solid blow to some guy's jaw. "Hey pregnancy has made me jumpy!" she defended. "Turns out I'd dropped a note and he was just trying to give it back." Shepard could have sworn she turned pink with embarrassment as she laughed.

He met her soft brown eyes and lingered there for a long moment, a tiny smile showing in his eyes. For a moment he wondered how he'd managed in life before her. "I'm a lucky man," he said simply. She responded with a smile, bringing her pillowy lips to his for a soft kiss. She pulled back and began to stand, a process that looked effortful. Shepard jumped up and helped pull her to her feet.

"Thank you," she laughed, pressing her belly to him as she slid her arms around his middle. He pushed her dark hair behind one of her shoulders and let his hand sit there a moment.

"You've got that thing today right?" Shepard asked.

Ash's shoulders slumped and she whined, thunking her forehead down onto his shoulder. "Yes. I'm going now." Her voice was muffled. "Oh god is it really necessary?" She looked up at him. "Don't get me wrong it's really sweet that my sisters planned a baby shower it's just." She fidgeted. "Can't they just have it without me? If I hear one too many cutesy 'awwww' noises I'm liable to flip a table."

"No whining, Chief. Come on," he teased. "Did you really expect to go from career head basher to snuggly mom in a matter of a few weeks? It's an adjustment, Lieutenant." He winked.

"Bah." She barked. "I take back everything I said. Let's just raise our kid on a frigate. It sounds like a perfectly normal, well adjusted upbringing." She turned and walked out the door laughing. "I'll see you later," she called back.

"Yep." When she was gone Shepard took a deep breath and looked at the wreckage that would soon look like a crib. He narrowed his eyes at it. Mission accepted.


End file.
